They say that God is only giving you what you think you can handle. Whoever the fuck said that needs to be punched in the face. I keep rolling through my mind why karma is fucking me so bad lately. I can't seem to come up with a good reason. I mean how much can one person take?!
I'm exhausted, emotional, frustrated, hurt and just all around agitated. I'm tired of every time I think things might be looking up, I get knocked down again. I just want to be better. I want to be back at work. I want to see my friends. I want to be able to drive by myself. I want to have a husband who will hug me and tell me everything is going to be ok. I want him to WANT to comfort me. I want him at the hospital because he WANTS to be there to comfort me and help me through the times. Rather than him going, sitting in a chair, not saying a word and playing on his phone the whole time. When I'm laid up in the hospital I want support and comfort. Not some person just sitting there like a bump on a log.
I'm so damn frustrated. I NEED these things, and yet I'm found lacking. I don't want to feel this way. I don't want to be bitter or angry. I want to be me again. And I feel like that is slipping away from me.
